Q2, am I a joke to you?
A tale of bed bugs, the struggles of living alone, weed-smoking neighbors, and a long ass 5-hour traffic “torture-a-thon” in Lagos 😥😥#2023-Q2-Reportcard
My lovely, dearly beloved extended family members,
Yes, you caught me red-handed, I’m buttering you up with a lot of adjectives because I know I haven’t been writing as much as I’d hoped I would be, but fear not I got you! I've got a tale to tell today, a story of survival, resilience, determination for change and, yes, a little too many creepy crawlies. Buckle up as I take you on a wild journey through my struggles of the 2nd quarter of 2023.
I think I received the most doze of shege in April 😩😫. Picture this: my stress-free, life-loving self in Lagos, the land of chaos and adventure for 2 weeks. I should have known that this trip would turn into a comedy of errors and horrors when I almost took a cab without side mirrors for inter-state travel for 4500 Naira only to discover that the normal fare from Ibadan to Yaba was 3000 Naira. After I alighted at the bus terminal, it took almost 30 minutes for the Bolt driver and myself to locate each other due to traffic despite being at the same location.
I entered the car and I was immediately grateful to be slapped in the face by the cool air from the Air Conditioner because that afternoon’s Lagos sun na die. I gave the address to the company booked Inn at Yaba, with the thoughts of getting to my extra cold room to sleep away the stress of the journey (laughs in unforeseen horrors). As I approached the reception desk with a bright smile, I was met with a receptionist whose rudeness could rival those Nigerian Angels in heaven IG skits. It was as if they had a personal vendetta against my happiness of going to sleep in my room, but before you show me 1, me sef go show 10. I called my colleagues who had arrived earlier to help me deal with her. After the room wahala was resolved, I marched on to my room, the pungent smell of occupant smoking weed was choking the hell out of me. Finally, I made to my room only to discover a bedspread that seemed to have been passed down through generations; it was unsanitary and made me question my company’s choices.
But wait, it gets even better (or worse, depending on how you look at it). As I settled into my room, I noticed something biting me as I slept - bed bugs! These little bloodsuckers were feasting on my fresh healthy blood. With a phone call to the reception, I demanded a room change, praying for a bug-free sanctuary. But my prayers fell on deaf ears, or perhaps the inn attendants just had a cruel sense of humor, they decided to spice things up by implementing water rationing, turning something as simple as a shower into an Olympic event. Brushing my teeth felt like a mission impossible, and I became a master of strategy, waking up by 3 am to have my bath then going back to sleep then brushing my teeth before I left for work.
Just when I thought I had seen it all, my new room decided to throw a curveball. An electrical fault plunged me into darkness, leaving me contemplating whether I had unknowingly signed up for a real-life haunted inn experience. With the grace of a herdsman’s wife, I found myself on the move again, hoping that the third time would indeed be the charm, it wasn’t perfect, but I managed till I checked out of that Inn of horrors.
Now, let's fast forward to the journey back to Ibadan, a journey that tested my sanity and resilience in ways I never imagined. As I bid farewell to the chaos of Lagos, I embarked on a seemingly innocent journey that turned into five hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic from hell. The traffic “torture-a-thon” transformed me into a master of patience, as honking cars and never-ending roadblocks became my companions. The clock seemed to taunt me, ticking away mercilessly as the minutes turned into hours. From Yaba to Berger, time stretched like elastic, as if the universe had conspired to test my endurance. We left Yaba around 3pm, finally reached Ibadan at 9:33 PM, and I stepped through the doors of home at 9:45 PM, grateful to be greeted by the warm embrace of familiarity and the sweet relief of a journey of horrors completed.
Favorite Song of Q2
Your girl has finally started living alone and let me tell y’all, it is not all that it’s hyped up to be. As someone who planned for years about living alone, I didn’t know I would find it so lonely. Now I understand why people Japa with partners ( love marriage & japa marriage), it’s tuff living alone in a new city where you don’t know anyone or anywhere. I’ve mostly being indoor, and I’ve only being out three times. When I embarked on this grand adventure of independence and self-discovery, little did I know that along with the freedom came an unexpected roomie. Let's get one thing straight, I am not a fan of sharing my living space with animals, most especially these six-legged creatures called cockroaches. But it seems that my apartment came pre-equipped with a colony of them, just waiting for their new human companion and it’s being an epic battle between the rent payer, me and the unwelcomed squatters, if you have some tips to get rid of them, please drop it in the comment box.
I recently hit a milestone in life, I turned 25, I have literally spent a quarter of a century on this planet! I decided to celebrate in style with a 25 Shades of Pink themed party, because life is too short for a dull and unexciting monochromatic celebration. Also, nothing says stepping into my feminine energy than a pink fest. It was like a pink star exploded and created a Nebula of pink hues. As I stepped into this new chapter of adulthood, I couldn't help but stumble upon an interesting fact, that ladies supposedly start reaching their sexual peak by the age of 25. Talk about perfect timing! I’m embracing the notion that this year was going to be one for the books, a year of exploration, growth, and yes, maybe a little extra spark in the romance department (wink).
So, here's to 25 years of laughter, love, and a sprinkle of pink magic. Cheers to embracing our inner flamingos and savoring the journey ahead. Let's paint the town pink and revel in the delightful surprises that life has in store for us. Finally, happy new month, let’s hope Q3 brings positivity and Goodnews!
Sending you all love, laughter, and a touch of pink fabulousness!
With pink-tinted glasses, Dolapo.
You have a great command for English language. I particularly like this line of yours 'It was like a pink star exploded and created a Nebula of pink hues'. Nice work.
Kudoz to you for this wonderful post. It was really interesting.